


If I lose Myself

by indiedreamer



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-17 18:12:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2318666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiedreamer/pseuds/indiedreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything was already planned. Erase his memory, make him believe no one loves him, turn Baelfire bitter and darker, just so Pan could get his revenge. Can Baelfire be saved? This starts from the end of 2x22</p><p>written by me and (tumblr account) pjonightingale</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is written for fun and because there is a lack of lost boy baelfire fic. hope you enjoy :)

Baelfire gave Captain Hook an angry look before a sack was put over his head. He felt the rowboat start to move with heavy rocking. If this was baelfire’s first time at sea, he probably would vomit. The Jolly Roger did not made him feel like to puke, just queasy.  
Hook thought baelfire, Baelfire thought he could have a life with hook, thought he could trust a pirate. But Baelfire was wrong.  
Baelfire felt the rowboat touch land. Thats when rough hands hauled him up and push him on the neverland sand. Rough hands lifted him up and the sack was removed to reveal a sandy haired, green eye boy who Baelfire recognise as the pied piper smiling at him  
You gasp baelfire,  
It’s good to see an old friend spoke the pied piper  
Baelfire remembered what his papa told him about the true identity of the pied piper  
"You are peter pan" said Baelfire, not the pied piper  
peter rolled his eyes, ”yes i should of told you my real name, but when you think about it, pied piper sounds way more interesting and captivating”.  
Peter only received silence from Baelfire  
Peter returned with a smile, welcome to Neverland Baelfire. This is your own personal playground. You can do what you want here, There are no rules except 1 important rule. You must obey my command and do any task I set you.  
There was something about peter’s smile that seemed different than the first time Baelfire met him. His smile seem more sinister. This bring words papa told him. “He cannot be trusted”. He remembered what wendy told him about neverland. it’s not a place he wants to be at.  
Careful with his words. Baelfire said “Peter I thank you for inviting me to join your lost boy group. But all I want is to go back to London”.  
Peter Laughed, “I heard you were very fond of the darlings but this is not an invitation laddie, Anyone who sets foot on neverland is never allowed to leave”.  
But you can leave argued baelfire.  
"I am the king laddie, I can do as I please".  
Now baelfire knows it’s peter not the shadow who decided who leaves or stay.  
Baelfire did not want to be a lost one. So Bae ran but felix was faster. Felix grab his arms real tight and pulled him towards Peter. Bae tried to resist but felix was much stronger than him. when back to facing Peter, the other lost boy’ grip his arm.  
Peter gave bae a forced look of disappointment. he nodded to felix. Felix loosen his grip on Baelfire and Punches him on the stomach, Bae doubled over in pain.  
Listen here laddie spoke peter. we lost boys don’t play nice with boys like you. You broke a rule, I could have done to you a lot worse than this. But since i am a nice boy, a punch will suffice for now.  
Peter walk closer to baelfire until there is not much space left between them, Starring straight in to baelfire eyes. “I will warn you again, you must obey my command”  
Baelfire starred at those green eyes, he was terrified by this boy who hold so much power. But Bae is not going to become his servant. Go to hell shouted baelfire.  
This received a punch on the face from Peter. Bae felt blood streaming from his lip.  
Lets try a different tactic shall we said Peter. If you don’t obey me, I will bring Wendy back here and rip her shadow in front of you.  
Baelfire remembered how sad and scared wendy was when she told him about neverland. he trembled in anger. “Don’t you dare touch her, I will obey your command but please don’t bring wendy back here”.  
Peter grin. “Now that what I like to hear. Let’s go the camp.  
*****  
The camps was lively, full of dancing boys. some of them playing a hand made drum.  
Baelfire sat at the log. he was not in the party mood. He notice felix and the other lost boys laughing at him. “Your weak” said one of the lost boys. Baelfire wanted to punch them right now but he did not want to cause anymore trouble than he already did.  
So Baelfire calmed his anger by thinking of wendy and her family. Thinking of the good times he spent with them. Like the first time wendy and he met, the stories wendy tells her brothers and he, the pretend sword fights with john and michael. And Wendy teaching Bae how to dance  
Peter joined Baelfire. “Why you not join the party”? ask peter  
"I feel tired" said baelfire.  
oh said Peter. perhaps tomorrow you will feel more participative  
****  
The next day peter saw that Baelfire was not Participative as Peter expect him to be. Baelfire went with all the activities like hunting and gathering pixie dust. But Baelfire was always at the back of the group and did not do much. He wasn’t really in to the activities. The only activity he was really in too was sword play. the lost boys took pleasure in giving him cuts and bruises. But baelfire had fire, he manage to give them some cuts and bruises too.  
This went on like this for the next few days  
Baelfire made no friend with any of the lost boys. Instead he met a lady named tinkerbell during his free time exploring the forest.  
"Your new here said tinkerbell". Tinkerbell thought baelfire looked different from the rest of the lost boys. He had that lost boy pelt but underneath it was other worldly clothes. And Bae had many cuts and bruises.  
"I arrived here a few days ago" said baelfire.  
I guess the shadow took you said tinker bell.  
Baelfire nodded. “But how did you get here?”  
Its better to tell at my treehouse said Tinkerbell  
they exchange names and set for the treehouse.  
At Tinkerbell treehouse, Tinkerbell helped take care of baelfire wounds. They sat on tinkerbells bed and exchange stories. Tinkerbell who use to be a fairy is from the same world as Baelfire but lost her powers for helping who she thought was her friend. Tinkerbell wan’t sure how she exactly how she end up here. She just did a lot of travelling and somehow end up in neverland.  
Baelfire told her about what happen with his father and about the darlings. Tinkerbell never met a boy so brave as baelfire before.  
so she said “why don’t you and me keep each other company, you can come to my tree house anytime you like”  
I would like that said baelfire.  
****  
the day after bae’s first meet with tinker bell, when the boys were left to do their own thing. Bae left to go to tinkerbells tree house. Peter saw bae left and called Felix too him. “We need to do something about baelfire” he said.  
Just send him back said Felix. You don’t need him.  
"Oh I need him" said Peter, "see a long time ago. I was close friends with his father rumplestiltskin. We promised to be best friends forever no matter what. But when I asked him to come to neverland with me he refused. and from that moment we lost our friendship".  
Felix smiled. “So baelfire is here because you want revenge”.  
Peter nodded. “Imagine turning the dark one’s son in to one of us. imagine the look on rumple’s face when realise what becomes of his son”.  
I feel your delight in that said felix. “But baelfire is not really one of us yet”.  
Your right felix agreed Peter. “What is the thing we lost boys have in common”?  
we feel unloved and lost replied felix  
"Exactly" said peter. "We need to reinforce that to baelfire. We need to make him feel that no one wants him".  
"The Darlings want him" said felix, Felix look at peter who is waiting for felix to realise their plan. Felix knows where this is going  
"You want to erase baelfire memories of the darlings" realised felix  
"Not just memories of the darling" said peter. "Every Happy memory he ever had in his sad life".  
"And How are you going to do that"? ask felix  
"I have my ways" said Peter with an evil grin.


	2. Chapter 2

Peter Pan didn’t have magic until he came to Neverland. In this place you could do whatever you want, everything you desire. Soon, he discovered every kind of tricks on the island. He felt powerful, like a true ruler.  
When he formed the group of the lost boys he knew he was a leader and they were his sidekicks. They would be loyal to him and he would guarantee them an eternity of youth and fun, they wouldn’t turn into grumpy adults. But he also promised them a life full of joy, no more tears, freedom and they would never feel alone again.  
So when everyone went to sleep, Pan scooted slowly so he wouldn’t wake up anyone and sat beside Baelfire, who was dreaming peaceful lying on the grass.  
Pan took from his pocket a wooden pipe. He leaned a little more, slightly touching Baelfire’s ear. Then he started playing a sweet melody, kind of a lullaby. He felt a tingling in his fingertips. A signal that the magic was working.  
Bae wriggled a little but he didn’t wake up.  
Peter started playing another tune, this one sounded gloomier and faster. Bae scowled and started panting.  
"Papa…no…don’t…" He murmured.  
A mischievous smile appeared in Peter’s face and the music stopped.  
"Sweet dreams wimp."  
He got up thinking that his plan was already in motion.  
Meanwhile Baelfire was fighting a mental battle with himself. He knew something was wrong when some memories started flooded away. When he couldn’t remember the Darling’s dog name, or which one of the brothers, Michael or John, was the older one; he knew he was in trouble. Bae tried to hold on the images in his head. He didn’t want to forget his life with the Darlings, or the good moments he spend with his papa before he turned into the Dark One, but he couldn’t do anything else than stay dreaming while every person that ever loved him was erased from his life.  
And as if nothing could get worse, he dreamed about the last memory he had of his papa. Something that he remembered with every single detail, at least he thought he did. The night his papa abandoned him.  
***  
He was again in the forest walking beside his papa, who keep him in a tight grip.  
“Faster boy,” he said with a raspy voice,” I don’t have all the night”.  
When his papa decide that they were in the right place, he took out a small blue bean.  
“Papa, what’s that?” Baelfire asked.  
Rumpelstiltskin made an exaggerated smile that gave chills all over Baelfire’s body.  
“You know what they say about love son?”  
“Yeah, that’s the most powerful magic.”  
Rumple didn’t respond him, he just laughed in a weird, creepy way. He threw the bean and it fell on the floor. A green tornado formed, and Baelfire´s eyes widen with amazement.  
“What’s happening?”  
Rumple approached him cautiously and Bae stepped back with fear, the same way he did when he had become the Dark One.  
“I need more power Bae,” he said,” but you don’t want me to…because you’re a coward and a selfish boy that doesn’t want me to be happy.”  
“No! It’s not like that.” Bae replied. “But you don’t need magic papa.”  
Rumple’s eyes darkened.  
“You’re wrong.” He pointed a finger at Bae. “I don’t need you.”  
Then, he pushed Baelfire into the portal. Bae screamed and managed to grab a rock embedded in the ground.  
“Papa please!” Bae cried. “Don’t let me fall!”  
Rumpelstiltskin kneel in front of Bae and took the hand that was grasping the rock.  
“Papa…”  
“I’m sorry son, but love is not power. Love is weakness.”  
And in that moment the Dark One let go his son’s hand and watched him with a relieve smile as he transported into another world.  
***  
Baelfire wake up agitated, with beads of sweat running down his forehead. He felt his head ached, like if someone had just hit him with a brick. Bae tried to put his thoughts in order.  
He was…in Neverland…after his papa… His papa had send him here because Bae was the only obstacle between him and the power he had always dream. He sent his only son to an unknown land.  
He’d never wanted me, Bae thought, I should’ve expected that from him. After the curse he changed.  
Power, power, it was always about power. He was starting to hate that stupid word.  
Suddenly, he felt dizzy and sick so he put his hands on his temples, trying to calm down.  
Peter saw him awake so he come closer to him. Smiling inside, he put the best concerned look he could.  
“Hey Bae,” he started, “are you alright?”  
Baelfire wanted to say no, but he refused. The other boys already think of him like a good for nothing, he didn’t need to be known as the baby who’s scared of nightmares too.  
“Yeah…” Bae murmured.  
Peter frowned.  
“You don’t have to lie Bae. We´re your family now, you can trust us.”  
Bae felt weird. Something was wrong…but he couldn’t tell what it was.  
Well he has a point, Baelfire said in his mind, if I’m going to be here for the rest of my life…I have to trust him.  
But a voice inside of his head told him to run away, to find a way back to his home. But papa didn’t love him, it was his fault he was trapped here in the first place, and there was no one he knew that would take him. All of his friends in the Enchanted Forest were scared of Baelfire, Hook didn’t care about him either. This was the only place he could settled down and start all over.  
“I have a nightmare about my papa” he said in such a low voice that it was almost inaudible.  
Peter raised his eyebrows.  
Baelfire told Peter about his dream and he was surprise when Peter didn’t mocking him about it.  
“I know how you must feel” he told him. “My father abandoned me too, when I was little. That’s why I created the lost boys. Because like the name say it, all of us feel lost, but here we don’t have to worried about adults telling us what to do. Here, we´re free.”  
Bae started at his feet, a little ashamed. He had been such a jerk with all of them, just because he was mad at his papa and Hook. But well, they hit him when he refused to stay…so maybe they´re in a truce.  
Peter patted him on his back.  
“Why don’t you join the others?” Peter suggested. “Maybe you would feel better.”  
Bae nodded and walked with the lost boys. They were dancing and playing handmade instruments. At first, Baelfire was reluctantly. Why they would accept him now? But again, he was surprised when they welcomed him with open arms.  
What he didn’t know was that Peter already told them to treat Bae like one of them, and who didn’t was going to be punished. They didn’t argue, because they knew that the only rule was to obey their leader, and the lost boys didn’t want to make Peter angry.  
That afternoon, Bae went to visit Tinkerbell. At first, they ate fruits that the fairy had collected, and they started talking about silly things. Tinkerbell noticed that Bae was happier than usual and was smiling constantly, maybe he was getting used to the life of a lost boy, but she didn’t want him to turn in one of them. They were violent, anarchist and cold hearted. She knew Bae was better than that.  
“Why don’t you tell me more about the Darling,” she asked him.  
Bae frowned.  
“Who?”  
Tinkerbell blinked confused.  
“Your family.” Bae kept looking at her like she was crazy. “Wendy, Michael, John.”  
“Tink, I don’t know anyone with those names.”  
“But…but…you said you came here because of the shadow” she insisted”, that you did it because you wanted to save their family.”  
Bae scratched his head awkwardly, and his eyes darkened.  
“Tink, I told you that my papa sent me here by a magic portal because he didn’t wanted me.”  
Tinkerbell knew that someone had made something to Bae, but she knew that it was better to keep quiet until she found out what was happening.  
“Yeah…I remember…maybe I got confused.”  
Bae sensed her hesitation.  
“Are you sure you’re okay.”  
“Yes, of course.”  
But she wasn’t.


	3. Chapter 3

After Bae left Tinkerbell treehouse, She could not stop thinking about their conversation. There was something clearly wrong with Bae. She could see it in his eyes when bae told her his papa didn’t want him. They were the cold eyes of hatred and anger.   
There is only one man who would be as concern as her.  
Tink look towards the ocean and the ship known as the jolly roger  
*****  
It was late evening when Bae returned to camp. Peter was already waiting for him. He had plans to make this wimp darker. The first plan would be set in motion now  
"Welcome back Baelfire" Peter announce. "We have been waiting for you".  
He unsheathe his sword and raise it in the air.  
"We will be having a sword game. I want you to show me how brutal, violent and merciless you can be".   
The lost boys cheers.   
Bae could not cheer with them because a voice inside told him this is not a game he would enjoy.  
Peter could see that Bae was a bit hesitant.   
While The lost boys set off to get their weapons, the leader made his way towards Baelfire.  
"This is not just about brutality and violence he said. It is a chance to channel all your anger and release it. You have a lot of anger laddie, don’t keep it in.   
"But it does not feel right to take my anger out on others" said Baelfire  
Peter laughed. “Don’t be such a softie laddie. This is how the lost boys are helping you. they don’t mind”.   
"Okay" said Bae hesitantly   
Peter pat the boy shoulder. “If any of them complain they will answer to me”  
This got a giant smile out of Bae.   
Peter smiled in return “Now lets pick a weapon”  
They were all type of weapons such swords, axes, spears.  
Bae look at them amazed by how well they were crafted.   
But Pan had another weapon in mind for Baelfire. “How about this weapon”  
Peter conjure up Bae’s cutlass he got from hook.   
Bae eyes darken as he recognise this was a pirate’s sword.   
Peter made sure that Bae’s memories of hook were only bad. He had conjure a memory of hook holding bae hostage until the lost boys took him. The last thing hook said to Bae is “Your mother left your coward father for me. I told her to come with me and not a day has gone by that I do not regret taking her away”  
"I don’t want to use this" said Bae coldly  
"This will help channel your anger" insist peter. "The more you feel angry the better you can let it go".   
Peter hand the cutlass to bae who looked at it and nodded.   
"I also want to give you some advice"  
"What’s the advice" asked Bae  
Peter grab Bae’s sword arm. “Make sure this arm is strong so that you can block or attack easily  
Peter point to Bae’s leg. “And make sure your legs are apart because it will give a stronger stance and better balance”  
"Okay" said Bae  
Peter move his head close to Bae’s ear. He whispered “If I were you, let them attack you first until they tire out, then you attack them”.   
"That’s a good plan" said Bae smiling  
"I am the master of sword fighting" replied Peter.  
Peter called out like a bird which got the lost boys attention  
"Who is ready for some fun"?  
The lost boys cheer.  
Peter looked at Bae. “You’re up”  
Peter search the crowd and found a lost boy name Devin. “Devin you’re up”  
the lost boys made a circle around the two competitors.  
****  
Meanwhile on the neverland shores Tinkerbell was waving a white flag towards the Jolly Roger. She then saw the crew preparing the rowboat.  
Soon she was face to face with Mr Smee. “I need to talk with the captain” she said  
Mr Smee nodded and beckoned the fairy to come on the rowboat. The ride towards the Jolly Roger was silent.  
When they arrive The Captain was already waiting for them.  
"What brings you to my ship" he asked.  
"it’s important" replied Tink. I feel comfortable talking in private  
Hook could sense the concern in Tinks eyes. He wonders why she would ever want to talk to him. “Lets go to my cabin”  
Hooks cabin consist of a red velvet bed and a large desk filled with papers. His floors and walls were made of mahogany .  
Hook sat on his bed. “Now what is this about”?  
"Its about Baelfire" said Tink  
Hook eyes darken and his heart begin to ache. “Baelfire is not my concern anymore”  
"You are lying" said Tink. "I can see it on your face. you still love the boy".   
"You don’t know me" growled Hook  
Tink sigh. “I don’t want to argue with you hook. “But i will say that baelfire was really hurt when you gave him up. You should of fight for him”.  
Hook stand up and shouted. “The boy wanted to leave even though i asked him to stay”  
"He was angry" said Tinkerbell. "People say things they don’t mean when they are angry. His anger block out your sincerity. You should of fought harder to show it"  
Hook knew tink was telling the truth. He sat down in defeat. “What is wrong with the lad?”  
"I think Pan had done something to him"  
"What do you mean"  
"He seemed different. And when I asked him about the darlings. He said he does not know them. Instead he told me his father sent him here saying he does not want him"   
Hook snarled. “This is definitely the work of the demon”  
"But why"? asked Tink  
The demon loves to turn anything thats good in to dark.   
"What do we do"?  
"Perhaps Baelfire needs reminding of the people who love him".   
Tink could guess who the person hook is thinking about  
"Wendy Darling" said Tinkerbell  
****  
Back at the camp. Baelfire and Devin were circling each other. Devin attacked and Bae block it. This has been going on for what seems like a while. Devin is beginning to slow down. Before he was fast as lightning. Sometimes bae could hear peter’s voice in his head, telling him to keep his arm strong and legs open. Now the voice said go in for the attack.   
"Why don’t you attack" shout Devin  
Bae went in for the attack, He put his anger and hatred in to his strength. Devin tiredness weakened his arms and cause devin sword to fly out of his hands.   
Thinking this was the end of the match Bae walked away  
"Wait" called Peter. "In a game like this we show know mercy. If we show know mercy, how can we expect to fully release our anger? Finish him baelfire"  
Baelfire hesitate  
"Remember what your father did to you, it even still haunt you in your dreams. How does this make you feel"?  
The mention of his papa made bae angry.   
He march towards devin and gave him a right hand punch to his face.  
"Break his leg" shout peter. "That’s even more merciless"  
Bae stomp on devins leg, causing devin to cry out. He then reach out his hand to devin  
"Don’t help him" said Peter. "You never ever help your opponent". Peter walked to Bae and Devin. He pick up devin’s sword "Next time cut him, it’s much more exciting"  
Bae nodded but Peter change his mind  
"Actually cut him now". "Think of the way your heart feels when your father gave you up. it cut your heart to pieces"  
A voice told him this is wrong. But bae’s bitter anger got the best of him. He cut Devin stomach.   
"How does that feel" asked peter  
Bae actually felt better. The memories of his papa did not seem as painful. He had adrenaline all over him.  
"I feel good" answered Baelfire smiling  
The match continued until everyone had their turn.  
****  
After Peter left neverland and travelled to the enchanted forest. Disguised as a villager, he asked a blacksmith where the dark one lived. The blacksmith gave him directions.  
Peter found rumple asleep on his bed. “You gotten ugly”  
Taking out his pipe he played. His magic soared in to rumple giving him scenes of bae’s battle.  
"Bae" rumple mumbled  
"Your son is lost rumple, I have taken his innocent soul and morph him in to a demon like me"   
Peter laughed   
****  
Bae woke up with the urge to pee. He moved towards a bush to do his business in. After he buttoned his pants.  
"Good morning laddie"   
Bae jumped. “Gods Peters, don’t do that”  
Peter laughed. “You got to be on your feet all the time. Neverland is a rough environment”   
He throw bae an arrow and his sword.   
"Lets go hunting" said Peter  
****  
Peter spotted a Rabbit. He beckoned bae to hide behind the bush.  
He whisper besides Bae ear. “The to key to hunting is bait”. Peter conjure up carrots and throw it beside the rabbit. The Rabbit eyed the carrot and nibble on it.   
He whispered to Bae “now”  
Bae shoot the arrow at the rabbit. The arrow hit its side.  
When Peter and Bae approach it they saw it’s still alive   
"End it" command Peter  
"What" Bae gasp horrified  
"No mercy remember"  
"But you can heal it with magic"  
"Bae" shouted Peter. "If you want to be a lost boy you can’t be a coward. That is why your father can’t love you, that is why no one else love you. For who could ever loved a coward".   
Bae made a fist, he was trembling in anger, Peter was right. His papa did not want him because he was afraid of magic.   
Bae took out his sword and slit the rabbits throat, its bloods splattering on his face.   
Peter clapped “That is how you become a lost boy”  
The Two boys heard a gasp. They turned and saw Tinkerbell drop a basket full of fruits. She saw the Rabbit, its blood on Bae’s sword and his face  
She needed to talk to bae about this. But not now when Peter is here  
She picked up the fruits and walked away.   
Poor Tinkerbell thought Peter. She too is loosing poor Baelfire.  
"Lets go back to the camp" said Peter.


	4. Chapter 4

Tinkerbell was angry, terrified, worried and so many other feelings that she couldn’t understand how a person (or fairy whatever) could have so many of them at the same time.

That afternoon she reunited with Bae as usual, but he came a little late.

He must have been playing does bloody games with the silly lost boys, she thought.

When he entered to her treehouse, she was waiting him with her hands on her hips.

“Hey Tink,” he said casually.

His attitude annoyed her even more. He didn’t seem to care that he killed an innocent animal.

“What you did in the morning was horrible, Baelfire.”

“I was hunting Tink” he said rolling his eyes. “That’s what you’re supposed to do.”

“No…this was different and you know it.”

“You’re making a big deal about nothing.”

“No, I’m not!” she replied. ”You let go your anger hurting a harmless animal. That’s not okay!”

Bae tried to calm himself, but Tinkerbell took him rapidly to the edge.

“YOU’RE NOT MY MOTHER!” he screamed so loud that probably the whole island listened him, “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO OR NOT.”

He was breathing heavily and shaking like crazy. Tinkerbell just stood there too stunned to reply to him.

What´s happening to the calm, sweet, little boy I knew a few weeks ago? she thought.

Bae shut his eyes.

“I’m outta here.”

He turned around but Tink grabbed his arm gently.

“You’re not a lost boy, Baelfire. You’re better than that.”

He shook his head and looked down.

“I belong with them…they are…they’re my family now.”

When he started descend the ladder Tinkerbell looked at Bae with sad eyes. She needed to start the plan she made with Hook soon.

***

“How do you plan to bring her?” the pirate asked.

“I don’t know”

“Maybe you could convince Pan.”

Tinkerbell raised her eyebrows.

”If Pan did something to Baelfire there has to be a reason” she said. ”He knows that if he brings Wendy, his plan is not going to work.

Hook crossed his arms around his chest.

“I don’t think we have another option.”

She didn’t like that plan. She rarely crossed a word with Pan when it was extremely necessary. Just the sight of him made her sick. He manipulated children to be whatever he wanted them to be.

“I guess you’re right” she finally said.” But Bae doesn’t remember her, how could she…?

“Because love can break any curse.”

***

She met with Pan when all the lost boys were playing around with their swords. She glimpsed Baelfire in the crowd and saw him cutting and hitting the other boys. His eyes looked mischievous and she could feel he was having so much fun.

She winced when he started pushing a lost boy with his feet.

Tinkerbell turned his attention to Pan, who was enjoying the show.

She cleared her throat and Pan lifted his gaze towards her.

“I need to ask you a favor” she said directly.

“Wow, not even a hello” he scoffed.

Tinkerbell resisted the urge of rolling her eyes.

“Hello, I need to ask you a favor.”

Pan ignored her replied because at the same time the crowd cheered when Bae beat another boy.

“And what’s it?

She rubbed her hands nervously.

“I feel alone here. I’m surrounding of sweating boys, I need the company of a woman or a girl at least.”

Peter frowned.

“So?”

“I want you to send the shadow and bring Wendy Darling.”

Peter looked at her with disbelief.

“Go and play on your treehouse fairy” he said walking away.” I don’t have time for this.”

Tinkerbell cursed in her head and stopped Peter.

“Look, if you bring her…I would owe you a favor.”

Peter examined her with curiosity. It was something risky, but on the other side the fairy would have to pay her debt and he could use that somehow.

“Okay I accept it. But the Darling girl can’t come closer to any of the lost boys.”

Tinkerbell nodded.

“Not even Baelfire, do you understand?” he said bitterly.” If I see her with him, or at least looking at him, you two would see me angry and my lost boys can tell you, it’s not something pleasant to see.”

Tinkerbell gulped, but she kept looking at Pan with fearlessness.

“It’s a deal” she said extending her hand and Pan shook it.

***

The Big Ben marked the 8:15 p.m. when Wendy Darling was trying to contact the shadow. First she was trying to forget everything that happened, but it was wrong in many ways. Bae saved her and her brothers. He was a hero, but it wasn’t fair. He lost both of his parents and the Darlings were his only family and you never leave family behind.

She said goodbye to John and Michael, promised them that she would be back soon.

So when she called the shadow to take her to Neverland again, she was somehow happy. She was going to save Bae and bring him back where he belonged.

***

The lost boys kept playing around the fire when the sun came down. Peter watched with amazement the progress he had made with Baelfire. Soon, he would be unrecognizable.

While everyone started dancing when Peter played his flute, Bae felt his eyes getting tired and decided to sleep before the others. He hoped he wouldn’t get any nightmares this time. But as always he was wrong.

First, he dreamed about his papa again. It was the same thing. He was telling Bae how useless he was and then he throw him to the pit like an old toy. But then, his dream changed.

It was fuzzy and confusing. He saw a blonde haired girl with tears in her eyes.

“You said magic is bad, and you were right, Bae. It’s going to destroy my family.”

He didn’t understand what she was saying that but he felt his heart broke into a million pieces.

The image vanished and it changed to a happy one.

Here, Bae and the girl were playing with other two younger boys outside of a big red house. All of them were laughing and running.

Everything got blurry again and now he could only hear the girl calling his name with despair and he wake up.

He rubbed his eyes and saw that everyone else was sleeping. The sky was still dark so he decided to take a walk around the woods.

He tried to clear his mind, but he couldn’t forget about that dream. It seemed so real…and so good. But it couldn’t be, maybe he just was dreaming something he wished he could have. A family, with a mama and a papa that really care about him…

He was so distracted with his thoughts that he didn’t notice a big branch on the floor that made him stumble and fell to the ground. He cursed quietly when a stone cut him the palm of his hand, but it wasn’t a bad bruise thankfully. He grabbed the stone with his other hand. It was a limestone.

He continued walking in the night, thinking about the boys and mostly about that girl of his dreams and he stopped when he found a cave hidden in a bunch of large trees. Baelfire made sure nobody was watching him when he entered.

The cave was small and of course, dark. No one had been here before and Bae knew this was the perfect place to be when he needed to be alone.

And with the limestone in his hand, he started drawing his dreams, feeling a peace he hadn’t had since he came to Neverland.


	5. Chapter 5

The Shadow dropped Wendy off on the forest floors of a land she did not want to return too or even think about. On first sight neverland would look like a fun and happy place that any children will like. But this is only a mask that soon start to fade away the longer you stay on the island soil.  
But she had to come back for there is a boy who she loved that needs saving.  
Baelfire…..  
Sweet Kind Baelfire had gone to this horrible place to save her family. It was her fault really, she should of listen to bae in the first place. Wendy is going to fix this, she will have to become like one of her heroines in her books. Neverland is not going to bring her down.  
Wendy heard the crackling of leaves. she turned around and saw a face she wish to forget.  
"Pan" said Wendy  
The boy smirked “The little birdie has returned to her cage”  
"I am not one of your little pets you can play with"!! exclaimed Wendy   
"Oh your not" replied peter calmly  
"That is right" said Wendy a little confusedly  
"You are Tinkerbells pet now" the boy laughed  
Tinkerbell pet? wendy asked herself  
Wendy have met the fairy before, she’d even consider her to be a friend. There must be a good reason for her to bring wendy back.  
Could it be that Tink knew Bae?  
Could it be that something awful had happen to him  
Peter walked towards Wendy until there was only little space between them. He touch her curls “A gentle girl like you should not be in a place like this”  
Wendy heart start beating frankly. Afraid of what the demon might do to her  
Pan took out his dagger and put it against her neck. “one nick and your blood will dripped”  
He whisper closely to her ear “You stay away from the lost boys, even baelfire; no talking, no touching, no looking”  
Wendy knew why she had to stay away….  
She once told the lost boys stories her parents tell her. she told them of things such as book which can tell stories. One of the lost boys asked “where can you get books”. wendy told them “her home”. ”I want to go there and get books said the lost boy”  
That is when Peter got mad at her, telling her she is putting unwanted thought in their heads. He grabbed her arms roughly and sent her away from the camp. And that very night thats when she heard the children crying. she couldn’t handle it, She found herself missing her own parents, her brothers and baelfire. She felt an aching pain in her heart. This went on for a couple of days and each day neverland seemed to lost its beauty and become darker  
That is why Peter wanted wendy to stay away from the lost boys. But she find it strange that he put baelfire separately. Had he done something to her bae  
"What have you done with bae" she exclaimed   
Peter smiled ”I haven’t done anything, it’s the island that changed him”  
Wendy Glared  
But Peter pushed the dagger against Wendy neck “if I ever see you with my boys, my shadow will rip yours apart.  
Ending their meeting Peter disappeared in a flash.  
****  
Wendy set foot towards the treehouse. When she arrived, Tinkerbell was waiting at the foot of the ladder.  
Tink wendy cried happily  
They hugged each other. After separating. Wendy put both hands on Tinks Shoulder “Tell me what happen to Bae”  
Okay said tink sadly  
They sat in the treehouse as tink recap the events before she got here.  
"I want to strangle that demon" Wendy cried angrily. She could not picture bae as the violent brutal type, she will not dare picture it. She could not even bare the thought of Bae not remembering her "And you think i can bring him back"?  
Tink nodded “The way he speaks of you, it seems like really love you. He speaks of you fondly, lovingly. A smile will light up on his face when he speaks of your family, even more brightly when talking about you. He loves you wendy, and love can break any curse  
Tears fell down wendy’s cheek. “I love him too, so very much. But Peter would not allow me to see him”  
"We need to find away" replied tink  
*****  
Tink and Wendy decided to call hook. After waving the white flag, Hook took his canoe and rowed on to the shore.   
He gave wendy a smile “This lovely young lady must be Wendy Darling”  
Wendy smiled in return “You Must be Captain hook”  
"Indeed I am love"  
They rowed back to the Jolly Roger. In the cabin Hook offered them Rum. Tink took the rum and drink it but wendy said no thinking her parents wouldn’t like her drinking alcoholic drinks.   
So how are we going to get the two love birds to meet? ask hook  
"Everywhere bae goes peter will ask him where, to make sure wendy does not meet him" said Tink. "We need to make sure peter does not know the two are meeting".   
"How about someone distracts him" ask Wendy, thinking of a romance book she read  
I can do that said Hook. The Demon and I love to have a fight  
"What about felix" ask Wendy, "Surely Peter would have left him in Charge.   
I can deal with Felix said Tinkerbell  
*****  
Back in the enchanted forest. Rumple was sitting on his spinning wheel thinking of his dream. The voice of his enemy still clear in his head "I’ve taken his innocent soul and morph him in to a demon like me"  
It’s just a dream thought rumple. Bae can’t possibly be there. He is in a land without magic. Neverland was full of magic. But still Rumple can’t get that gut wrenching feeling that says the dream is real. Rumple wanted the dream to be fake. He’d rather bae be lost in an unknown world than be in Neverland and in the clutches of the demon  
Rumple summoned his crystal ball, a magical item that can show you places. “Show me Neverland lost boy camp”   
The Crystal Ball fogged up then started clearing to show the lost boy camp at the present moment.   
He scan through the camps until he saw him, His Bae, Hitting and kicking another boy. Rumple notice cuts and bruises. Bae is trying to fit in to survive he thought. “A demon like me”said the voice  
Rumple wave his hand at the crystal, magic pouring from him. He looked at the only drawing he had of his boy. ” I swear on my soul, I will find you son, I will not rest, I will not eat until i find a way to get to you. When I find you, I will find a way to destroy The dagger, We will be a proper family again, I promise”   
He hope that the crystal ball can really send a message to bae while he is sleeping.   
Rumple summoned his books and began searching ways of travelling to neverland  
*****  
Bae entered his cave, Happy for the peace and quite it provided. He couldn’t sleep at the camp because the boys were were still at it with their games.   
He lay down with his head on his arms and begin to dream…  
He began to see a fuzzy and confused image of a small 5 yr old boy with a man (who seem to resemble his papa) on a spinning wheel. The boy was smiling, “look papa, I can do it”  
"Well done bae" said the man  
the scene change to a stormy night. Papa and the boy were huddled together on the bed. “Papa i don’t like the storm”   
"The storm can’t hurt you bae"  
The boy smiled “yes because my papa will protect me from it”  
papa laughed  
"Papa will you stay with me until the storm end"  
Papa gave the boy a kiss on the head. “I will never ever leave you, even when the storm has disappear far away and the sun has risen, i will still be here”  
The scene changed and it was of the same boy but older and his papa having dinner together. “Papa moraine gave me a scarf today”  
Thats’s lovely son said Papa, “I also have a gift for you”. Papa took out a shawl. “You can wear it with your scarf, Happy Birthday Bae”   
The boys face light up. He got out of his chair and hugged his papa  
The scene change and bae was looking at his papa looking the same as he last saw him but his face holding so much sorrow, hurt and determination. He heard the words he was saying “I will find you”…. “We will be a proper family again, I promised”   
Bae woke up, the images of his dream still clear in his head. Why had he dreamed those scenes with his papa. That scenes felt so real. but the last scene seemed to be a message. His papa was coming for him  
NO bae thought. That can’t be true, his papa did not love him. Why would he come back for him.   
Why was he tortured with those happy dreams that felt real but seem to good to be true. Hot angry tears streamed down the boys face. He looked at the drawings of the girl from his dreams. Flashes of her and her family played in his head  
She can’t be real either thought bae. His head begin to hurt. He needed to get out of here,   
Bae ran….  
******  
Back at the camp, Peter was playing with his pipes when captain hook came marching in.   
Hook what brings you here?  
I want to challenge you to a battle?  
Pan eyes light up, “it’s been a long time laddie, you are finally back in the mood, where will this battle take place”  
Front of Dark Hallow said Hook smiling.  
Peter told the boys where he is going. He left felix in charge and told him to find bae in his cave and bring him back here.  
Peter and Hook set off  
Felix adjusted his hood and was about to set off when tinkerbell came running looking frightened. “Peter” she called  
"Peter is not here" said felix  
"There is a wild animal surrounding my tree house"  
"so"?  
"Help me get rid of it"?  
"it’s not my business" said felix  
"I will owe you a debt" pleaded tinkerbell.  
"I have to find baelfire" told felix  
"I can help, i know his favourite places, and i will not leave your sight until you come with me"  
Felix sighed “fine”. He admire her determination. Perhaps He would have to teach her how to shoot an arrow  
When they reach the tree house. with tink behind, Felix looked around, “I don’t see a wild animal”  
Wendy came behind tink holding a fry pan, She swing hard hitting felix hard on the head”   
He fell to the ground unconscious  
"Nice shot" said Tinkerbell.  
"Thanks" said Wendy.   
Wendy heard foot steps coming towards them.  
A few seconds after that, she saw a boy with a mess of curls running pass them.   
It’s Bae she said.   
Wendy ran after him, calling out his name.   
*****  
Wendy ran calling Bae again until he stopped and faced her. His eyes were wet and angry, He had cuts on his face. He was almost unrecognisable.  
"Bae" wendy said, looking in to his eyes, "It’s me wendy"  
"You are just a dream" cried Bae, "You aren’t real, no one loves me, no one ever loves me"  
Wendy heart broke at the sound of despair, and hurt coming from him. She blink back tears and walk to Bae who was sobbing, She grab his hand  
Bae looked at it.  
"I am real" cried Wendy, “I love you Bae”. She move to hug bae but he pulled back like she was a disease letting her hand go.   
I’m loosing my mind he said (more to himself than to her)  
Wendy move to stroke bae’s cheek, she was hurting for him  
But Bae grabbed her hand roughly, “Who are you? he shouted. “Why are you torturing me with your words and with these dreams?”  
The rough tone of his voice shivered Wendy to the core. This was the way Peter had spoken to her once  
Wendy cried. “Don’t you recognise me? What’s happen to you bae? What has peter done to you?   
All of the questions spilled out of Wendy. She thought one simple look, one simple touch would be enough to bring the real Bae from the surface.  
She sank down to the ground sobbing  
Is Baelfire truly lost….


End file.
